Robert Hampton

From the poetic justice department:

The bus this morning was crowded. Not head-in-sweaty-commuter’s-armpit crowded, but only-a-couple-of-seats-left crowded.

A middle-aged woman was sat in an aisle seat, with the window seat next to her empty. When I say empty, it really was empty. She hadn’t piled shopping bags or similar on it to discourage occupation; instead she was warning people away from the seat by giving a really dirty looks. Honestly, from the shape of her mouth it was if she’d just drunk a pint of vinegar.

I paused for a moment, wondering whether I should challenge her. A second look at that vinegar mouth and I decided that it was too early in the morning for a confrontation, so settled for another seat near the back of the bus.

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Waiting for my bus to work today, I saw several buses pass with "SCHOOL SERVICE" on the front. On the back of said vehicles were adverts for "Scandals Adult Store". Er, that can’t be right, can it?

Y’know, if I were a troublemaker, I’d write a self-righteous letter about this to the Daily Mail and embarrass all those involved…

…If I were a troublemaker.

An idiot, even by football fan standards.

Amazing what links you can find on the Internet. Somehow I ended up here, which got me a link to the Prime Number Shitting Bear.

I have way too much time on my hands.

I had loads of stuff to do tonight.

I didn’t do any of it.

Ah, well, there’s always tomorrow.

That’s what I told myself yesterday.

Right, I’ve added a “Permanent Link” to each diary entry. In the unlikely event that I post something interesting and you want to link to it, the Permanent Link is guaranteed to be correct even when the entry “falls off” the front page.

I’m so helpful.

Television Executives listen to viewers shock! Challenge are bringing back Knightmare after a barrage of protests on their message board.

Call me a sad bastard if you want, but I loved that show when I was a kid. They’ll only keep it going if people watch it, so… June 2nd at 6.30pm and every weekday thereafter. Do your patriotic duty people!

Today I found my GameBoy Advance, which I’d lost months ago and was starting to think I’d never see again. I can play Super Mario World again!

Today has, therefore, been upgraded from “average” to “groo-vay!”

Moaning about my old school yesterday made me all nostalgic and got me thinking about what my old friends are doing now. I know Seb’s reading this, and I’ve swapped e-mails with Pete Gleave and James Harrison, but that’s it.

You know, it’s funny, it’s been nearly three years since I saw any of them, but I’m still interested in what they’re up to, and I still care what they think about me.

I know, no updates for a while. Been a quiet week all round, to be honest.

I did read in the Echo yesterday about someone who got expelled from my old school for refusing to play hockey on Saturdays. Ridiculous if you ask me: why should anyone be forced to do school-related activities on a weekend? That’s what the weekend is for! I’m just glad that I showed no aptitude or interest in any extra-curricular activities whatsoever.

An important safety message from your pal Rob:-

If you’re ever browsing the web and you happen across a link which reads, “click here to see what a prolapsed rectum looks like” — resist the temptation to click on it, especially if you’ve just eaten, or are about to eat.

I made the mistake so you don’t have to. Don’t ask me to explain any further.

Observation number 1: nobody pays any attention to the “no smoking” signs in Paradise Street Bus Station

Observation number 2: Summer is just around the corner. You can tell because the heaters on the buses have started working, after failing to provide any heat at all during Winter.

Observation number 3: there are far too many idiots in this world.

Yes indeedy, it has been one of those days!