Robert Hampton

Every morning I get woken up by my cat at 5am. He meows outside my bedroom door, demanding to be let out of the house. And since it seems I’m the only family member who can’t sleep through it, I always end up getting out of my warm, comfy bed to let it out.

This happens every single day without fail. This morning, however, things took a new twist. As I staggered groggily downstairs to unlock the front door, my bare foot touched something cold, wet and slimy.

Anyway, cleaning cat vomit off the landing (and off my feet) at 5 o’clock in the morning is not what I imagined my life would be like.

I think God’s punishing me for something.

I’m tired, I’m fed up, and I’m really not in the mood for long-winded blog entries. However, since there’s so much going on that I want to comment on, here are some brief thoughts:-

• Tony Blair is a crook
• Merseyrail’s refurbished trains are great
• Cats make better pets than dogs
• Family Guy is the funniest damn TV show ever
• The government’s gay partnership proposals don’t go far enough
• Building more roads is not the answer to Britain’s transport problems

Thank you and goodnight.

Now that was weird: my computer has just spontaneously rebooted itself.

I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, but it happened while I was listening to Meat Loaf’s Bat Out of Hell that I downloaded from the Internet. Yes, that’s right, I’m listening to music that was illegally obtained! Mwahaha! Take that, Music Industry Anti-Piracy Bigwigs!

Well, actually it’s a track on a CD that came free with the Mail on Sunday a few months ago. But that doesn’t sound anywhere near as cool.

Apparently you can have an Anti-Social Behaviour Order slapped on you for making sarcastic remarks.

Oh yeah, that’s a really good idea. Give a medal to the person who thought of that one, that’ll really help to make society more civilized.

I have to stop now, the police are knocking on my door.

So. Farewell

Then

Arriva Trains Merseyside

Your train left

Hunts Cross

at 0555.

(0603 on

Saturdays)

And then

At

These minutes

Past

Each hour:

36,

51,

06,

21.

Until 1936.

Then Half-hourly

Thereafter.

Until 2306.

Change at Liverpool Central

for

Wirral Line.

(with apologies to E.J.Thribb)

If I were Tony Blair right now, I’d be thinking, “Uh-oh”.

Only just noticed this:-

A bill due before parliament next week will make it a criminal offence for two 15-year-olds to kiss in public, the Home Office said last night.

But officials said those below the age of consent were unlikely to be prosecuted if both were enjoying the embrace.

— Guardian Unlimited

No kissing at all? This means every teenager will have a love life almost as bad as mine. That is wrong for many reasons.

From BBC News:

The statistics released by the Home Office are arguably the most puzzling crime figures they’ve ever produced. One reason is because police have changed the way they count crimes.

Is it just me, or do the police "change the way they count crimes" every year? It’s all very confusing — almost as if the Government wants to hide the true figures from us.

Ah. Right.

Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Movie is being shown next Wednesday on, of all places, ITV1.

This is marvellous for me — I loved MST3K when it was shown on Sci-Fi. However, anyone who knows MST3K will realise what an odd purchasing decision this is for ITV1. The only reasonable explanation is that I must be living in some bizarre parallel universe.

I mean… ITV1?!

MSN Messenger 6 is really cool. That’s according to kid sister anyway. Take her opinion with caution: her computing experience extends to The Sims Unleashed and little else. Still, she knows more about this whole IM thing than me. I thought “Buddy List” was a 50’s rock’n'roll musician.

Hey, that’s quite funny. I’ll write that down.

So a girl gets on the bus today, sits on a seat opposite me, and starts giving me a funny look. Nothing unusual so far. But… after a couple of minutes, she says, “Hello”.

Alarm bells ring. DANGER! DANGER! Stranger wants to talk to me! I hate making conversation with strangers unless there is a predefined social setting (including but not limited to parties, Bar-Mitzvahs, MSN Messenger and dodgy city centre bars). I am, however, a polite person, so I if anyone initiates a conversation with me, I am happy to respond.

However, unexpected conversations always catch me completely off guard. My bus journey home is a leisurely ride through Albert Dock and Brunswick Business Park. It’s a precious 30 minutes between leaving work and arriving home when I can just look out the window and don’t have to force myself to make smalltalk. And now Wotsername has shown up out of the blue to ruin all my best-laid plans.

Read the rest of this entry »

A church minister has been accused of conning elderly people out of thousands of pounds in savings.

Still, at least he’s not gay. That would be far worse, wouldn’t it?

Citing the need to safeguard “America’s most vital institutions and politicians” against potentially devastating attacks, President Bush asked Congress to sign off Monday on a $30 billion funding package to help fight the ongoing War On Criticism.

— The Onion strikes again!

I’m not involved personally in any way, but the story of Thomas Thompson, the Wallasey schoolboy who killed himself because he was being bullied, has really affected me.

I was never bullied as such, but I know what it’s like to be on the outside looking in. We live in a very intolerant society, where anyone who stands out from the crowd is singled out for abuse. Thomas’s only crime was to be himself, to concentrate on his schoolwork rather than sport, to be passionate about his beliefs rather than just accepting the status quo, to speak articulately and intelligently. And for that he was tormented and harrassed until he was pushed over the brink.

Things need to change if our society is to have any hope.

Some stuff on the web:-

Glossary of blog terminology — are you suffering from Blogorrhea, or are you just an idiotarian? Found via a link at Andrew Sullivan’s site.

And thanks to This Modern World for this one:-

1. Go to Google.com
2. Type “weapons of mass destruction” (without the quotes) in the text box
3. Hit the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button. Do it now, in case it stops working later.

So that’s one link from a right-wing blog, and one from a left-wing blog. Fox News can eat their hearts out: this is the place for “Fair and Balanced”