1. INT. NEWSAGENT’S. DAY
A FRIENDLY MAN STANDS BEHIND A COUNTER. OUR HERO, ROBERT, ENTERS THE STORE.
ROBERT:
I would like a Daily Mirror and Daily Mail, please.
NEWSAGENT:
I’m sorry, we’ve sold out of the Daily Mail.
ROBERT:
Ah, I’ll just take the Mirror, then.
NEWSAGENT:
That’ll be 45p, please.
ROBERT (OUR HERO, REMEMBER?) HANDS OVER THE MONEY AND LEAVES, WHISTLING JAUNTILY AS HE GOES.
I’m always hearing complaints about how nobody celebrates St George’s Day. I was determined to put this right this year, until I realised I don’t know what you’re supposed to do. What is the traditional St George’s Day celebration?
Seriously, I don’t know. Is it just a matter of waving a flag around? If so, then I’m more than happy to oblige:-
(it doesn’t wave by itself, so… er, waggle your monitor back and forth, or something)
It just keeps getting better and better.
I had a blog entry all planned out, but I’ve completely forgotten what it was going to be about (it was something to do with Merseyrail, but that’s about all I can remember).
Tonight I left the gym, satisfied after an hour or so’s workout. Had the nagging feeling I’d left something behind. Was it my keys? My wallet? My TRIO ticket? No.
Got halfway to Moorfields station before I realised that my big hefty sports bag — the impossibly bulky thing that you couldn’t possibly forget about — was still sitting on a bench in the changing room.
I can almost hear the brain cells decaying…
…if not the entire year, comes from Gregor White in a Guardian discussion about blogging:
Blogging is slightly addictive, but so is wanking.
The central heating has broken down. It works, but the boiler is emitting large quantities of gas into my sister’s bedroom. An emergency family meeting was convened where, by 3 votes to 1, it was decided to turn the boiler off. Guess who voted against?
It’s not as heartless as it sounds — she could have opened a window.
I painted a fence yesterday.
Michael Palin, Pete Waterman… and now, The Fast Show‘s Mark Williams shows his rail enthusiast colours. Discovery Channel are showing an all day marathon of Mark Williams on the Rails. And very good it is too.
"WHERE WERE ALL THE PEOPLE?" asked the Liverpool Echo as a crowd failed to materialise for the Queen when she arrived in Liverpool this morning.
Maybe I’m missing something, but given that it was 11am on a normal weekday, maybe all the people were …at work? You know, that thing us poor people have to do to get money?
I remember in the immediate aftermath of September 11th, the Daily Mirror said that the public mood had changed and, in response, they would concentrate more on serious issues and less on the traditional tabloid fodder of sex’n'celebs…
This is happening as well, y’know.
In 1992 National Public Radio’s Talk of the Nation program announced that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for President again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn’t do anything wrong, and I won’t do it again."
The above is number 6 on the Top 100 April Fool’s Day Hoaxes of All Time. I should have done something for April Fools Day here, but I forgot about it completely until 11:45pm last night, when it was too late to do anything. Oh well, there’s always next year.