Robert Hampton

Time to go back to 1975, when the only thing we had to worry about was nuclear war.

Bet the BBC News staffer was overjoyed to have a legitimate reason to repeatedly use ‘bum’ in an article.

I watched my new DVD of Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story yesterday — quite good, although it’s a bit disappointing that they used the “Brian and Stewie go on a road trip” plot again. It was very strange to hear Lois Griffin say “fuck”. It just doesn’t seem right, somehow.

Somewhere along the line, people got the idea that I liked model railways…

This is the kind of thing we spend money on in our house.

Some Christmas cheer from Germany:-

BERLIN (Reuters) – Crime, corruption, evil and sleaze took a day off on Christmas Eve — at least in Germany’s Bild newspaper.

The country’s best-selling daily managed to find a positive angle to every news development in Germany and around the world in the past 24 hours, treating its 12 million readers to a Christmas edition that was filled with nothing but good news.

Imagine if the Daily Mail did something like this. What would the headlines be? Something like…

• “HOUSE PRICES GOING DOWN, BUT THEY’RE NOT THAT IMPORTANT REALLY”
• “GAY PEOPLE EXIST — CIVILISATION NOT COLLAPSED”
• “CHILDREN OF SINGLE MOTHERS ARE ACTUALLY QUITE NICE”
• “ASYLUM SEEKERS WELCOME!”

Christmas is nearly upon us again, which of course means that Liverpool’s public transport system goes into hibernation for 48 hours. My sister can’t get to work on Boxing Day, and my dad can’t get to the football match, because there are no trains and the few buses which are running are not running at the right times.

This, despite the fact that most shops are open for business. I guess the first day of the post-Christmas sales are reserved exclusively for car owners.

Not for the first time, I wish I lived in London.

Civil Partnerships between gay couples are taking place. About time too, although for some people it came almost too late.

If you disagree with the idea of same-sex couples having their relationships recognised, The Daily Show is here to explain exactly why you’re wrong.

PS: this is Elton John’s idea of a low-key ceremony.

Your NHS at work

News reports where the story cannot possibly live up to the headline:-

• One
• Two

You know, when it comes down to it…

…it doesn’t take much to make me happy.

I’ve just finished wrapping my Christmas gifts, and somehow — I’m not sure how or why — I’ve ended up with two extra gifts that are unallocated to friends or family. I can’t even remember buying them. Oh well.

Tony Christie has released a cover of Merry Xmas Everybody and he appeared on Top of the Pops Reloaded this morning to perform it. I was watching it in the gym with the sound on mute (the best way to watch anything featuring Fearne Cotton) so I have no idea what its like — I think lip-readers would find it quite entertaining.

BBC Two have shunted Family Guy and American Dad to a graveyard slot. I can’t say I’m particularly shocked, although I am surprised it happened this quickly — I’m sure even Seinfeld lasted longer than this.

I’m venturing into town tomorrow, despite the possibility of a near-riot situation on Merseyrail. There’s only 8 days until Christmas, but I still don’t feel particularly festive. Maybe buying a small gift for myself will change that…

The programming geek that still lurks within me was intrigued to see that Microsoft are offering free “Express” versions of Visual Basic 2005 for download from their website.

Having never done any Windows programming, I’m tempted to give it a try, although my slightly creaky 3-year-old PC only just meets the onerous system requirements.

I’ll probably end up doing MadMaze on it.

Just a quick note to the unwashed man hanging around Bold Street this evening: if you are going to harrass people by begging them for spare change, you might want to come up with a better opening line than, “I know I look like a smackhead, but…”

…actually, on reflection, it’s highly unlikely that the gentleman in question has internet access, so I’m probably wasting my time.

My horoscope (I don’t believe in them, honest) on Yahoo says I should stop pondering “what if” and instead embrace what I have. So, here goes:-

I’ve more-or-less finished my Christmas shopping. The Hornby Christmas Special set was still in the model shop, taunting me with its cuteness. Hmm… you know, it is only £49.99, and what else would I do with that money? Give it to charity? Yeah, right.

Snopes has found the most audacious Christmas light display ever. I’d do something like this (I like annoying the neighbours), but I don’t have that much time on my hands. Well, actually I do have that much time on my hands, but I channel it towards negative thoughts.

I’m thinking of trying the whole spoof newspaper thing again. OK, the last time it didn’t work out too well, but this time will be absolutely, completely different — for one thing, I have an almost clever pun for the site’s title. It’ll be really good and… oh, I can’t be bothered. It’s something to think about for the future, maybe (I need to justify the £6.09 I spent registering the domain somehow).

This must have been terrifying for those nearby. But at least the motorists have their priorities right.

UPDATE: BBC News 24 has just played a video from two people whose first reaction on seeing the explosion and massive fire was “let’s get really close to it and film it!” — Idiots.