The London Paper have an interesting interpretation of the phrase “Private and Confidential” and have released Boris Johnson’s joke-laden and completely unserious-sounding application form. I’m not sure why they’re making a fuss — I’ve had very limited exposure to London, but I do know that to survive it requires a sense of humour.
EXAMPLES OF CHALLENGES FACED Please give 3 examples of challenges you have faced and the outcome.
Trying to help raise 4 children in inner London. Outcome too early to call, but looking promising.
Taking on Blair and Campbell in the battle of Black Rod’s Memorandum on the Queen Mother’s Lying-in-State. Outcome: total victory.
Negotiating Hyde Park Corner by bicycle. Outcome: survival.
Not done a proper post about trains for a while, but there have been a few interesting developments on the railways recently which are worthy of discussion, so here goes…
First of which has been the devastating/positive (delete as applicable) news a couple of weeks ago that Arriva have snatched Cross Country Trains away from Virgin Trains. Doesn’t actually affect me that much, since Liverpool was unceremoniously deleted from the XC network quite some time ago (grr) but the good news is the triumphant return of the HST!
There’s a nice high quality version of the above image on Arriva’s website.
Musical stand-up Bill Bailey is to put himself forward for the United Kingdom’s next entry for the Eurovision Song Contest.
The only problem is that he’ll have to go through the Making Your Mind Up voting process, and the Great British Public’s track record in recent years is shaky, to say the least.
I don’t live in London, so I’m not affected by the day-to-day shenanigans of the 2012 Olympics (“it’ll benefit the whole country” — yeah, right), congestion charging and signal failures on the Northern Line — unless it’s this Northern Line.
I have the advantage of distance, which means I’m fairly safe from the consequences of saying: VOTE BORIS!.
I’m thirsty. You wouldn’t like me when I’m thirsty.
Let’s be clear about this; I’m not opposed to organised labour through a collective bargaining arrangement, I’m really not. So when Network Rail staff threaten to strike, or Royal Mail workers up sticks and walk out, I’m not particularly bothered. I just shrug my shoulders. “They’re exercising their democratic right,” I say to myself.
But now things have gone a step too far, and I have to stand up and say to all concerned, with utmost seriousness: DON’T fuck with my Coca-Cola supply.
I enjoyed it so much I stabbed myself in both eyes with a pencil
If you missed the superior instalment of Never Mind the Buzzcocks with Bill Oddie and Stewart Lee when it was repeated last night, check out the YouTube-y goodness. (Part 2, Part 3)
Oh, this is interesting: ITV have launched a new site offering classic TV shows to view online, including episodes of World in Action, Jeeves and Wooster and Press Gang!
I don’t mind rain too much, but there does come a point where even I have to start wondering just how much more water there can possibly be in the sky.
A persistent band of divorce is crossing the North of England, bringing with it heavy showers and the odd rumble of thunder. There are isolated outbreaks of sodomy in London and the surrounding area and drivers are being asked to take care on the roads. Meanwhile, in Scotland teenagers are still getting sex education, so watch out for violent tornadoes and hurricanes across the Strathclyde region.
This situation will persist until Wednesday, when a band of righteousness sweeps in from across the Atlantic, bringing with it persistent sunny spells and temperatures as high as 25 degrees inland. It will be slightly cooler near to the coast, especially Blackpool where God isn’t happy about all those hen parties.
There is still a slight chance of showers if a woman has an abortion, so be sure to take an umbrella with you, just in case.
I took down my crap joke because as the weekend wore on, it became less and less funny.
The unsettling thing about the terror alerts over the weekend is that the powers-that-be appear to have had no inkling that an attack was going to happen. Carnage was avoided mainly by sheer good fortune (failure of the explosives to detonate) and alertness from people in the vicinity (the ambulance crew who spotted the suspicious car in London).
I have a sinking feeling that a whole load of ill-thought-out and civil-liberty-eroding anti-terror legislation will be rushed through Parliament in the near future, all in the name of “keeping people safe”. Sigh.
I was flicking around the news channels last night and briefly found myself watching Fox News (I know, I’m sorry). One of their reporters described Liverpool Airport as “a very small airport”. Hmph!
