Robert Hampton

Some TV presenters are tied to the autocue and get completely lost when something unexpected happens. Here’s the exact opposite: Conan O’Brien, someone who’s at his best when things go awry.

Mmm-hm:-

Harry Potter author JK Rowling has revealed that one of her characters, Hogwarts school headmaster Albus Dumbledore, is gay.

The religious right would be up in arms about this, if they weren’t already up in arms about Harry Potter generally.

It doesn’t seem to me like a particularly brave decision to retroactively announce that a character is gay, AFTER the books have been released and made all the money. Can Dumbledore even be considered gay when, as I understand it, absolutely no reference (explicit, implied or otherwise) is made to the fact in the books?

Anyway, look out for some unsettling slash stories to hit a fanfic site near you soon — just as soon as I’ve written them.

Two days after the postal strike is called off, the score is as follows:-

1 credit card statement.
1 letter from Sky saying that they’re changing (reducing) the channels I get in my package.

C’mon guys! Where’s that Family Guy DVD? If you bring it on Monday, I’ll let you come over and watch it.*

(* no I won’t)

Thanks for listening. I like to think it was my well thought-out comments on the issue that swung it.

Every afternoon since Friday I’ve been despatched to Birkenhead to offload my work’s outgoing mail on the unsuspecting postmen of Wirral.

This is quite good because it’s an additional train journey each day for me, and the ticket is being paid for by someone else, which adds to the sparkle. Never has the clank of a “franked mail only” post box sounded so good.

Anyway, still waiting for those things from play.com, so back to work, posties! Off you go now!

Details have emerged of a government study which says half the population could be obese within 25 years.

I actually quite like the sound of this report. If half the population becomes obese and I stay the same, it means that comparatively speaking, I’d be thin and handsome and attractive.

I say, bring on the fatties! As long as I don’t have to sit next to one on the train where they overhang onto your seat.

To: Liverpool’s striking postal workers
From: Robert Hampton (that’s me)

I’ve been fairly blasé about your unofficial industrial action up until now, but on Friday play.com posted a couple of preordered items to me, and I’d like to receive them this side of 2008. So go back to work.

That is all.

I’ve been getting a lot of e-mails from people who think I’ve been spamming them, and are understandably slightly annoyed at this. The messages are… impolite.

Now, if eBay would just hurry up and close my account, like I asked them to, I wouldn’t be having this problem, and we could get on with our lives.

I’ve not been having much luck with passwords recently.

My workplace has instigated a new policy where we have to change our password once a month — and we are not allowed to use the same password again. So, on Monday morning, I dutifully changed my password when requested — and promptly forgot it, requiring me to sheepishly slink upstairs to our IT man and request that he reset it for me.

Tonight I arrived home to find a whole plethora of messages from confused and angry eBay users, demanding explanations for the confusing and anger-inducing messages I sent them. Yes, my eBay account has been compromised. Super!

Oh, that’s why: Guess what I want for Christmas?

(at least it was drool this time)

Interest has been revived in the model railway, partly because Hornby have seen fit to produce an actual Merseyrail-liveried train in their range. Now, I know what you’re going to say: The doors are wrong (wait, you weren’t going to say that?), but it’s still great to see that M logo in 00 gauge.

I logged on to the Hattons web site last week in order to see if the aforementioned model was in stock yet (intending fully to jump on a bus to Smithdown Road to get it in person from the shop). But lo and behold, there was a special offer on: free delivery if you spend over £150. Naturally, I had to spend the extra £102 in order to avail myself of this offer, which means my credit card is hurting, and I am now in possession of a whole host of railway related paraphernalia. IT MADE PERFECT SENSE TO DO THAT.

On a related topic, I wonder if Hornby would have produced this item…

…if it weren’t for a certain popular science-fiction series?

Hurray! The Christmas decorations are going up in Liverpool city centre, and Boots have just issued their 2007 Christmas Gift Catalogue. Truly the countdown to Jesus’s birthday starts here.

Every so often the BBC News website will throw up a story that makes me do a double-take.

…this is one of those times.

Watching the first ever episode of Countdown on More4 on Monday night reminded me of that wonderful moment on Noel’s House Party (yes, really) when Richard Whiteley was given the Gotcha. It was absolutely brilliant, with an elaborately-constructed fake episode of the show and actors playing completely incompetent contestants.

I’d give my right arm, and possibly my left leg, to see it again. If anyone happens to have it on tape somewhere… *cough* YouTube *cough*