Robert Hampton

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10th August 2008

Vignette
Posted by at 5.44pm | It's My Life | No responses

Shopping for clothes today, with my sister on hand to protect me against fashion faux pas:-

ME: (holding up garment) This looks interesting; I’ve never seen anything like this before. What’s this called?
HER: (patiently) It’s a scarf.

9th December 2007

It’s the most wonderful time of the year
Posted by at 5.41pm | It's My Life | No responses

I was a man on a mission today, determined to finish my Christmas shopping. Here’s my log of the day.

11.46am – I arrived at my local station minutes after a train was due to depart, but hurrah – a helpful announcement said it was running ten minutes late! I took up position on the platform next to two old dears.

“It was supposed to be here at quarter to,” said the first.
“It must be late,” replied her friend.
“You’d think they’d make an announcement,” she tutted.

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4th November 2007

This Web Site is a Mochrie!
Posted by at 11.03pm | It's My Life | No responses

The thought occurred to me today that I have a blog, and I really should post something in it. So here, in no particular order, are things what have happened to me recently.

  • My missing items ordered from various internet retailers finally made their way through the 1970s (aka Royal Mail Copperas Hill) and reached my doormat. Hurrah!

  • I’m really enjoying Whose Line is it Anyway? repeats on the craply-named Dave channel, despite the ham-fisted editing which sees games cut off midway to go to a commercial break and anything even slightly rude cut out (so when Tony Slattery is on, it’s doomed from the get go).

  • I upgraded the WordPress software for this site from 2.3 to 2.3.1 (offering new features, including an extra dot and number!) only to suffer a heartstopping moment when every page on the site started coming up with 404 errors. Oh, you crazy misconfigured .htaccess file!

  • After my earlier negative experience with Dr Kawashima’s Brain Training, I am pleased to report that I have got my brain age down to a sprightly 20! This achievement was only possible thanks to many hours of continuous brain training exercises, and certainly not because I used the hidden cheat mode.

  • I have started Christmas shopping. My family are the most impossible people to buy gifts for. I’d buy them all gift vouchers, but that always seems like the lazy option: “Hello, I know you like books, but I couldn’t be bothered finding out which books in particular, so I’m giving you a book token, thereby transferring the responsibility from me to you! Happy Christmas!”

  • Tomorrow is the annual Hampton Family Festival of Standing Around in the Cold, Dark November Night While Robert Desperately Tries To Light The Blue Touch Paper By The Light of a Torch With Almost-Dead Batteries While The Children For Whom This Whole Thing Is Supposedly Intended Are Sitting Inside Watching Lazy Town. The whole family will show up to join in the “fun” (my brother’s married to a Catholic which I like to think adds an extra layer of awkwardness to the situation).

If I don’t blow myself up, I’ll see you all tomorrow!