Robert Hampton

So, Ken Clarke for Tory Leader?

I think he’d be quite good, which probably means he’s completely wrong for the job.

Wow. Someone is posting in their LiveJournal from the centre of New Orleans.

The reports coming out of there seem like something from a bad sci-fi movie, with anarchy and lawlessness in the streets. From all accounts, it’s like Hell on Earth down there at the moment. I’m half-expecting Bob Geldof to issue a foul-mouthed appeal for help.

And Fats Domino is missing.

You really can find everything on eBay:-

You are bidding on a very rare plastic carrier bag – “Merseyrail – Liverpool Local Railway” from 1970’s

Nice condition but got 4 fold lines

Woo. My new I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue CD arrived today!

This collection has two of my favourite games ever: answering a small child’s questions (“Why does daddy swear in the car?” “(BLEEP) off, I’m driving”) and the SatNav version of Mornington Crescent (“World of Leather have got a sale on”).

I’m happy.

A few weeks ago I happened to see the first episode in Channel 4’s repeat run of Desperate Housewives. Eight episodes in and I am hopelessly addicted. Every episode so far has been a delight. If you don’t count Lost (and I don’t), DH has to be the best drama to come out of America in the last few years.

Once again the US is showing the world how to make good drama. It’s depressing that Britain, with the vast resources of the BBC and ITV, can’t make anything approaching this quality.

Today did not get off to the best of starts. I arrived at the station to see a hastily-scrawled notice that services are subject to severe delay. OK, I’ll take a chance and wait. I thought my gamble had paid off as a train (to Sandhills only) arrived 15 minutes late. Goody, I thought, I’ll still just about get to work in time.

Then we stopped between Brunswick and Liverpool Central.

And waited…

And waited…

The train is full and, because we’re not moving, no air is coming in through the open windows. All the time it is getting warmer and warmer. People start to take off their jackets. The breathing of a woman sitting near me becomes alarmingly shallow. An angry man shouts loudly into his mobile phone.

Eventually an apologetic announcement comes over the tannoy: we’re going back to Brunswick. A collective groan goes up. There’s more shouting from angry mobile phone man.

We run, wrong-line, back to Brunswick, to the bemusement of a few hopeful passengers waiting on the platform for a train.

Your resourceful webmaster managed to get on board an Arriva bus outside the station, waving his Trio ticket at a harrassed driver who was fielding a long list of inquiries from irrated commuters.

I was one of the lucky ones: as anyone can see, 600 train passengers cannot fit onto 1 single-decker bus. As we pulled out of the bus stop, a long line of pissed-off looking people were making their way up the dock road, facing a long walk into town.

Normal door-to-door journey time to work: 15 minutes
Total journey time today: 1 hour 20 minutes.

What a way to start my birthday! 🙁

“Mine won’t even come out”

– the person standing next to me, last night.

I missed this article in the Daily Post yesterday: Engineer’s Baby Nearing Delivery. It’s all about the Liverpool South Parkway project, a multi-million pound scheme to improve connections to Liverpool Airport and between Northern Line and cross country services.

It’s easily the most exciting development on Liverpool’s rail network since the Merseyrail underground opened in 1978 — and it’s all happening two stops down the line from where I live! 🙂

Jerry Springer The Opera is out on DVD on 14th November!

We’re not good enough to win a cricket match on our own, so let’s hope it rains.

I’ve just found on the internet a high-quality MP3 of the theme from Catchphrase. I’m alarmed at how happy this has made me.

Being off work is fun. I decided to go to the gym early so I’d have the rest of the day free, and headed into town at about 10.30am. I was the only passenger under 65 on the train. Then I got to the gym and, to my surprise, found even more wrinkly old people there. I suppose they have to do something until Countdown comes back, but, well… pensioner sweat. Ugh.

Wankers Unite! After announcing plans to cause chaos on the roads, the protesters now urge people not to panic!

As Paul Merton once said on HIGNFY: “The thing to do is go to the shop and buy as much as you can. That way there’ll be enough for everyone.”

He was talking about Branston Pickle though, not petrol.

I’ve been off work for three days, and I’m bored. With hindsight I should have booked my time off during the summer, when there might actually have been something to do.

I might go to Southport tomorrow. Or not.

It looks like Google have finally launched their Blog Search, as exclusively revealed* on this very blog back in May 2003.

And I’m already listed! Woo!

* “Exclusively revealed”, in this context, means “Vaguely hinted at as an aside to a navel-gazing post moaning about my lack of traffic”.

Went to Southport.

Everything closed.

Very wet.

Came home again.

Anyone who thinks the British are getting stupider can back up their argument now with this report from the Liverpool Echo: Mother keeps boy off school because a fortune teller told her to.

I bet those Everton supporters are glad they missed their plane now.

Overheard in Aigburth station ticket office today:-

WOMAN: We need a return to, er, Lime Street, is it?
TICKET OFFICE MAN: Trains from here don’t go to Lime Street, they go to Liverpool Central.
WOMAN: Liverpool Central? Is that in Central Liverpool?

Truckers are staging a motorway protest over fuel prices. Apparently the lorry drivers are going to drive too slowly and hog the middle lane – so business as usual then.

Four men died while taking part in the Great North Run:-

A Northumbria Police spokesman said: “I can confirm four male participants in the race have died, which is more than the usual one or two – but every year more people are taking part.”

“The usual one or two”?! What kind of race are they running up there?

I’m going to use the tape-to-tape dubbing facility on my stereo system to copy some C64 games for my friends.

…

Hm, Talk Like a Pirate Day isn’t as much fun as the hype would have you believe.

“sexual octopus”