Robert Hampton

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2nd January 2015

I bought a diary from a pound shop
Posted by at 5.32pm | It's My Life | No responses

2015 Diary

I’ve tried to keep a diary for several years, to record hopes, dreams, idle fantasies about chaps I fancy, that sort of thing. Usually my efforts have been inconsistent. I forget to fill in one day and before I know it I’ve slipped out of the habit and there are months of blank pages.

I might do better this year, because this diary is AMAZING. It’s chock full of useful info! Too good not to share, in fact.

According to this diary, France still uses the Franc, Greece still uses the Drachma and Germany is clinging on to the Deutsche Mark. And Deutsche Mark is spelled incorrectly.

diary-2015-3

It thinks Berlin is still split into West and East, giving separate dialling codes for them (even though the codes are identical).

2015 Diary

Best of all, though, is the First Aid advice. Here’s what to do if someone is choking:

Diary

“A small child can be held upside down and thumped. If this does not work tickle the back of the throat with the finger-tips in an attemt to make patiens cough or vomit.”

Hm… hold a child upside down, thump him and then stick your fingers into his throat. Seems like a guaranteed way to get yourself arrested.