I’ve come up with a new concept which will cheer us all up and boost the economy in these austerity-riddled times.
Everyone has one birthday a year, but I think that 12 months is far too long to wait for the next one to roll around. Therefore I propose: the half-birthday, a day exactly halfway between birthdays but with all the usual pomp, circumstance and gift giving.
The benefits are twofold: first of all, everyone likes to get presents and attention showered on them. The half-birthday is a nice ego-boost, without the drawback of actually being a year older and the maudlin contemplation that often goes with that.
Secondly, if this catches on, it means everyone will buy twice as many birthday presents as they do now, providing a welcome boost to the “tat you don’t really need” market and injecting much-needed money into the economy.
By total coincidence, my half-birthday is tomorrow, so get on over to my Amazon wish list and order something (next-day delivery, of course).
So there’s my proposal. Come back next week, when I outline my plans for Bizarro Halloween.