Robert Hampton

Of all the happy happenings over the past decade, one of the best, as far as I am concerned, is the continuing regeneration of Liverpool.

Back in 2003, when Liverpool won its Capital of Culture title, many were sceptical that the city could deliver.

Certainly eyebrows were raised in 2004, when Liverpool Biennial put up pictures of naked female breasts and genitals in the city’s main shopping streets.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: nipples and vaginas are excellent in the right context, but not flapping around on a banner outside the Carphone Warehouse.

The above blog post comes from a far off time when nudity offended me.

There was trouble behind the scenes, as Merseytram, the showpiece transport scheme that was supposed to be up and running for 2008, was cancelled after months of political squabbling and setbacks. My insightful reaction? “Oh, poo.” Having said that, I have a feeling it would have ended up a shambles, like the Edinburgh tram scheme.

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In the end miserable old me didn’t go into town to see the La Machine finale. Normally I wouldn’t even bother mentioning this fact, but I had the above title ready for my blog, and I didn’t want to waste it.

OMFG IT’S A MASSIVE SPIDER!!!!1111

A very cool spectacle, complete with fantastic smoke and water effects (which I don’t have any pictures of because I was holding my mobile phone the wrong way round).

The only problem was the muppets at the front of the crowd, who saw the spider coming down Castle Street and started pushing back against those behind to get out of the way, which created crush and started a bit of a panic among the parents of the little kids present. Presumably they thought it was a real spider which would EAT THEM if they stayed put.