The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is an annual award for the worst first sentence of a novel. This year’s winner, Molly Ringle, deserves a special mention:-
For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss–a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.
(via Andrew Sullivan‘s blog)