Robert Hampton

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18th March 2004

High Street Weirdness
Posted by at 6.00pm | No responses | Uncategorised

I went into Dixons on Tuesday to pick up a new DVD player. I’m the sort of person who doesn’t ponder electronics purchases for too long, so I went in for the kill: I spied a Matsui DVD225 and went for it.

"You don’t want to do that," came a voice from out of nowhere.

I looked round, wondering for a moment if God had decided to make himself known through a high street store selling affordably-priced electrical goods. Then I turned around to see a slightly strange-looking man dressed in… well, it was an anorak.

"You don’t want the Matsui," he said, "I had a Matsui, terrible thing. They have really cheap chips inside them, awful quality."

My brain said, "why the hell is this any of your business?" but my mouth said, "I just need a cheap player to go in the bedroom."

"No, you buy that Matsui and you’ll regret it, I’m telling you."

I’m now wondering if this man is the employee of some sort of weird opposite parallel universe Dixons, where salespeople use high-pressure tactics to talk you out of buying products. Anyway, I decided to humour him, so I put the DVD player down and went to look at something else, hoping to return when he’d gone away and pick it up.

And then he started following me around the store! Every time I looked around, he was there, hovering. I eventually lost him by ducking behind the Portable Hi-Fi section, and then ran back to pick up the DVD player.

It wasn’t scary or anything, but definitely very weird. I went back today and bought a Matsui CD player, just to spite him.

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