Robert Hampton

Today is a significant anniversary: a date that is important, even if they don’t realise it, for thousands of workers, school pupils, shoppers and scallies without tickets who rely on the train to get them from A to B (where A & B are both in Merseyside).

So what I’m about to say, I say on behalf of the people of Merseyside. Every family going to Southport on a day trip; every office worker trudging out of Moorfields on a rainy day; every shopper laden with M&S bags dodging the crowds at Liverpool Central; every racegoer counting his winnings (or losses!) on the train home from Aintree.

On behalf of all of them, I say: HAPPY 30^TH BIRTHDAY MERSEYRAIL!

Now, say hello to the first passenger on the Merseyrail Underground, marvel at the original Merseyrail network map, or help to save one of the old Merseyrail trains.

A note about these pictures: The Class 503 image is in the public domain. The Class 508 image is by Chris McKenna and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike license versions 2.5.

Now that you’ve got back from voting in the elections (you forgot?!), sit back and read this inspiring tale:-

A disgruntled wife has admitted feeding her estranged husband a curry containing dog excrement after their relationship broke down.

I could make a joke along the lines of, “I’ve eaten in curry restaurants like that hahaha,” but that would be obvious and stupid and wrong, so I won’t.

Well, installing Thunderbird 2.0.0.0 (lots of zeroes) went wrong, with extra toolbars appearing where they shouldn’t be and generally being fucked up.

Then, my ill-advised attempts to fix the problem resulted in Thunderbird refusing to start, an event which caused no small amount of pants-wetting, given that, like all computer “experts”, I don’t regularly back up important files like e-mails (I’m getting around to it soon, OK?!).

Anyway, I rolled back to Thunderbird 1.5.10 and its working OK for now. Anyone who read my screed on switching away from RISC OS is entitled to feel smug right now.

Some people (usually women — sorry ladies, it’s true), when asked their age, will oh-so-hilariously reply “I’m 21… plus VAT!” (this is generally followed by a braying laugh, comparable to the sound made by a donkey in heat, but I digress)

I was curious as to what “21+VAT” actually equates to, and now, thanks to the date functions in Excel, I have the answer:

21 years is 7,670 days (don’t forget to factor in leap years). Taking VAT at its current rate of 17.5%, the “tax” on that amount would be 1,342 days and 6 hours. Add that on to the exact time I turned 21 (5th September 2003 at 2.09pm), and my VAT-birthday is 9th May 2007 at 8.09pm.

…which is now! Happy VAT-birthday to me! 🙂

So Tony Blair’s on his way out, but his proud legacy shall surely live on.

Play.com was offering 50% off webcams so I — the foolish impulse buyer — have gone and ordered one.

Is the world of MSN Windows Live Messenger ready to see my chubby face in grainy 3 frames per second video? All indications point to yes!

Rejoice and celebrate, for it’s Eurovision time! Unless you’re a Doctor Who fan, in which case I’m sure you won’t be reading this and will instead be on the internet forum of your choice, registering your objection in a calm and measured manner.

The song’s a bit crap, but Scooch do win bonus points for incorporating the imagery of airline stewards into their act — a motif which is sadly lacking in today’s music scene — and for the unsubtle backing vocals: “some salted nuts, sir?”; “slip it over your head, pull firmly on the red cord and blow”; “would you like something to suck on for landing, sir?” and the less exciting “would you like a complimentary drink with your meal, sir?”

They lose points, however, for actually doing “flying plane” actions with their arms, which nobody over the age of ten should ever be seen doing in public.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say we’re not going to win this year.

Well, for those of you who care, I fixed my multiple toolbar-ing Thunderbird — a simple clash with McAfee was the problem. So — hurray!

Today’s far more important news is that, in a move worthy of the dastardly Paul Robinson himself, Neighbours has been snatched by Five. I’m sure it will do very well for them, but it seems wrong to have the everyday story of Australian folk on the same channel as Home & Away.

This will come as a shock to a lot of you, but I’m not much of a football fan.

That said, there’s quite a good atmosphere building up in Liverpool city centre ahead of tonight’s hootenanny, if you define atmosphere as “loads of scallies wearing Liverpool shirts drunkenly singing You’ll Never Walk Alone“.

I saw a couple of so-called “fans” walking around with old shirts with “Crown Paints” logos on. That’s just not acceptable — if you’re going to call yourself a supporter, you should pay the rip-off prices for replica strips just like everyone else. 8)

Read the rest of this post »

Oh, fuck off:-

The government is considering giving police officers across the UK “stop and question” powers under new anti-terror laws, says the Home Office.

Yet another intrustion on our civil liberties, and it’s all John Reid’s idea, of course. Since he’s leaving in a few weeks anyway, it would probably be better for the country if he just sat in his office and didn’t touch anything until then.

Windows Vista just bluescreened on me! Hooray!

Hurrah for Guys and Dolls at the Liverpool Empire! Barry from EastEnders! Darius off Pop Idol! Some other people! It was fantastic!

At the end some daft woman actually got up and walked out while the cast were taking their bows. It’s not the Odeon, you don’t get up and walk out while the credits are rolling. Daft cow.