Robert Hampton

Another visitor! Stay a while… stay forever!

31st July 2007


The London Paper have an interesting interpretation of the phrase “Private and Confidential” and have released Boris Johnson’s joke-laden and completely unserious-sounding application form. I’m not sure why they’re making a fuss — I’ve had very limited exposure to London, but I do know that to survive it requires a sense of humour.

Please give 3 examples of challenges you have faced and the outcome.

  1. Trying to help raise 4 children in inner London. Outcome too early to call, but looking promising.
  2. Taking on Blair and Campbell in the battle of Black Rod’s Memorandum on the Queen Mother’s Lying-in-State. Outcome: total victory.
  3. Negotiating Hyde Park Corner by bicycle. Outcome: survival.

Other highlights: Section 10 asks how much time the prospective candidate could devote to the role, with the instruction, “Please be as specific as possible”. Boris’s full answer:-

A great deal.

You may mock (I certainly intend to), but whatever you think of Boris, it’s hard to disagree with this little epistle:-

I see the yellow billboards sprouting in the streets, pleading for information about the latest stabbing, reminding Londoners that street crime is worse here than in New York. I see the hollow-eyed look of people emerging from the Tube after another miserable experience, and the rage on the faces of drivers stuck behind a bendy-bus. I move in a trice past the stuccoed villas of the mega-rich to areas of real poverty and deprivation, and I see families stuck in grossly overcrowded flats, with no hope of a way out.

So that’s Boris’s application. Surprisingly (or not), he didn’t fill in the Personal Character section (“Please detail any serious incident…which might cause you or the Party embarrassment.”). Hm.

Comments are closed.