Robert Hampton

Amidst the news that Labour were pushed into 3rd place in yesterday’s elections, another depressing statistic emerged: that Liverpool Central ward had the lowest turnout in the country, with less than 12% of people voting.

This is a city whose local paper’s letters page is routinely filled with people whinging about roadworks, litter collection, derelict buildings, regeneration, crime, public transport — all of which are the responsibility of the city council to a greater or lesser extent. So when they have an opportunity to do anything about it, do they take advantage? No.

Anyway, in honour of the man who could be the next Mayor of London, here’s some classic Boris.

I live 2½ hours away from London (4½ hours at weekends – thanks Network Rail!) but have taken a keen interest in the mayoral election.

It’s clearly a good time to be a removal firm in London, judging by all the comments on the Guardian blogs saying that they’d leave the city for ever if Johnson got elected.

Lots of Boris-haters are whinging about the result, but really, it’s a decisive victory: he was clear of Ken Livingstone by over 100,000 votes. So I suggest you either live with it, or move to Liverpool where we don’t bother with elections and such.

Oh YES! I must have one of those!

More information here.

I plonked myself down on the train this morning, and saw that opposite me was a large lump of… well, snot. Part on the seat itself, with the rest dangling below, refusing to break off.

What this picture cannot convey is the way the dangling thing bounced and swayed around in line with the motion of the train. I was transfixed.

Then some woman got on and sat down on it before I had a chance to warn her. She wasn’t pleased.

The Guardian, taking time out from slagging off Boris Johnson, has helpfully listed some donation points for the Burmese cyclone victims.

The World Food Programme has halted aid shipments to Burma after the contents of its first delivery were impounded on arrival in the military-ruled country.

Clearly a well thought out set of priorities there. Well done!

I want my donation back. 🙁

Extracts from Network Rail’s log from Manchester Piccadilly station last night (reposted from here):-

And there’s nobody to blame but pissed up football “fans” and a culture that indulges them.

Someone at work told me they think I am “doughy”.

Well, thanks a lot. That does wonders for my self-esteem. Wonderful. 🙁

Say it ain’t so! Terry Wogan is thinking of quitting as Eurovision commentator after claims that the regional bias in the voting has become excessive.

Cyprus voting for Greece has been a running joke for years. However, the new claim is that the former Soviet and Balkan states, who have joined the contest relatively recently, are unfairly advantaged by the voting system. Both Italy and Austria have pulled out of the contest in recent years in protest at this state of affairs.

But is it true? I took the Results table at Wikipedia, pasted it into Excel (and you would not believe how problematic that simple task was) and did some playing around.

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The residents of Liverpool have had to endure months of roadworks and disruption in the city centre, but our long nightmare is nearly at an end — Liverpool One Phase One opens tomorrow!

And judging by the BBC’s pictures at the page linked above, the wait will have been worth it!

Only had time for a brief look round during my lunch hour, but… It really is great.

And look! We’re getting an Apple store! Truly, I can now believe that Liverpool is a major player.

More crap mobile phone pictures, “after the jump”, as they say.

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With all the excitement(?) recently, I haven’t even had time to expound on the excellence The Colbert Report, which has been running on FX UK since the beginning of May.

I could explain about the incredibly clever humour, the smart satire or Colbert himself — who has taken what could have been a gimmicky concept and created a complex, three-dimensional character. But I’m lazy, so here’s some clips:-

You could check out this clip, one of the first episodes that FX broadcast here, and containing a joke about Donkey Kong which won me over instantly.

Or this one, where Colbert manages to successfully spoof something which is already completely ridiculous.

Weekdays at 11pm, FX. Watch it!