Robert Hampton

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July 2006

1st July 2006

Sodomise our vast imaginations
Posted by at 9.22pm | Television | No responses

Halfway through the year already? Wow.

Anyway, best news ever is that Bravo have picked up the rights to Cartoon Network USA’s Adult Swim lineup and will be showing it every night from midnight, starting next Saturday morning (or Friday if you’re one of those TV-listings magazine 6am-6am weirdos).

To whet your appetite, some animated goodness from YouTube: Aqua Teen Hunger Force, assemble!

2nd July 2006

Well that’s just super
Posted by at 7.19pm | Model Railway | No responses

Lots of tiny, tiny little track pins.

All over the bloody floor. 🙁

5th July 2006

Adventures in Public Transport, Part XXIV
Posted by at 7.21pm | Trains | 4 responses

I bought a Saveaway ticket today and went wherever the wind took me. Turns out I’m too heavy to be taken anywhere by the wind, so I gave up on that and got on a train instead.

I didn’t take my camera with me, because I didn’t think there’d be anything worth photographing (you’ve seen one 508, you’ve seen them all). As I was waiting at Liverpool South Parkway, the Network Rail HST came screaming through — something which definitely would have been worth photographing. Typical.

(by the way, Central Trains’s Desiro units are nice)

6th July 2006

Do your own joke
Posted by at 12.02pm | In the News | No responses

BBC News says:-

A rub-on gel could be the first over-the-counter treatment for impotency, a company has announced.

Here’s what I’m thinking: are they rubbing it where I think they’re rubbing it? And if so, how can you tell whether it’s the rubbing or the gel that’s doing the trick?

Oh, what fresh hell is this?
Posted by at 8.09pm | Television | No responses

This is depressing:-

Pierce Brosnan’s son Chris and Paul Gasgoine’s step-daughter Bianca are to take part in the new series of ITV’s reality show, Love Island.

The report concludes…

This year, producers have dropped the word Celebrity from the programme’s title.

…presumably because they’d be prosecuted under the Trade Descriptions Act otherwise.

7th July 2006

Posted by at 10.18am | In the News | No responses

52 people, not doing anything wrong, just going to work on the bus or the tube. Their only crime: being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

BBC News has full coverage of the anniversary commemorations, including an article by Ken Livingstone.

Journalist Johann Hari has some thoughts on the anniversary.

The Going Underground blog has more.

Super Pendo movie gimmick, livery atrocious
Posted by at 6.29pm | Trains | 2 responses

I’m not sure I care for this at all…

Pendolino 390029 in Superman livery

(photo by Ken Ward, posted to

8th July 2006

Wouldn’t you rather be shopping?
Posted by at 12.36pm | Television | No responses

Eerie Indiana DVD

Eerie, Indiana on Region 2 DVD? That’ll do nicely :). Image above links directly to Amazon, if anyone feels like giving me a bit of financial support.

12th July 2006

To the company I work for
Posted by at 6.48pm | Work | No responses

I refer you to my earlier post on the matter.

16th July 2006

Operating difficulties
Posted by at 2.21pm | Trains | No responses

Merseyrail’s engineering works page says there is a bus replacement service between Hunts Cross and Liverpool today. National Rail website concurs. Merseytravel’s Travel alert page says the same, as does BBC Travel News.

I was aware of this in advance and was ready to leave a bit of extra time to catch the bus. Then, as I was in the bathroom getting ready, I heard, through the open window, the distinctive sound of a Merseyrail train accelerating away from the station (the line runs past the back of our house).

I went to the station and found out that trains were actually running normally.

Merseyrail’s left hand, meet Merseyrail’s right hand. Please take the time to find out what it’s doing.

17th July 2006

A Wapping good idea

As part of the Liverpool Comedy Festival, the Liverpool Echo is being “edited” by a different comedian each day. So far, Ken Dodd, Stan Boardman and Brendan Riley have all had a go.

Now, anyone who’s had the misfortune to read the Echo could be forgiven for thinking that it’s been edited by a comedian for years. However, even cynical old me can’t help but agree with this headline: The trams are dead, long live the train.

The article mentions reopening the Wapping Tunnel to connect Liverpool Central and Edge Hill, an idea which was part of the original Merseyrail plans back in the 1970s but never happened due to lack of funds.

I’m not sure it’s practical or even necessary, but who cares? 🙂 I want it done NOW.

18th July 2006

You’re Pitiful
Posted by at 6.01pm | Music | No responses

Good: “Weird Al” Yankovic has released a new song.
Better: It’s a parody of You’re Beautiful.
Best: It’s available to download for free from his web site.

19th July 2006

Coming soon
Posted by at 7.17pm | Television | No responses

Er… what? (MediaGuardian registration required to read article):-

Channel 4 is to bring mass public masturbation to the small screen.

In what must surely be one of the summer’s more bizarre events, hundreds of people are expected to gather in a hall in central London on August 5 to pleasure themselves in aid of charity.

The event will encourage Londoners – both male and female – to sign up sponsors and head to Clerkenwell in order to masturbate in front of hundreds of others.

I could do an obvious joke (something along the lines of “any channel that employs Justin Lee Collins already knows about wankers HA HA!”) but I won’t. I’m taking the high road.

You’ll watch it; don’t pretend you won’t.

20th July 2006

Confidential Information
Posted by at 9.13am | Trains | No responses

For further information contact the Traveline team on:- National Number 0870 608 2 608. (Available to the public) Staff dedicated Open Golf line 0151 xxx xxxx (not to be given out to the public) Staff general enquiries 0151 xxx xxxx (not to be given out to the public)

Where did I get this non-public information from? Why, from an article on Merseytravel’s website, prominently linked from the main index page, of course.

I’ve xxx’d out the phone numbers in the quote above, but they’re present on the original article. Go and have a look quickly before they spot the mistake. 🙂

23rd July 2006

From Russia (actually, Virgin Megastore) with Love (actually, £10 off)

I got a Nintendo DS Lite with Tetris on Friday, so as you can imagine not much has happened this weekend, as I’ve rediscovered the fun of picking up a console for “a quick 5 minute play”, then looking up at the clock a little later and realising that 2 hours have drifted by.

There was a great documentary about Tetris on BBC Four a couple of years ago, which discussed the battle between Nintendo and various other video game companies to secure the rights to the game from its Russian inventor. There’s no sign of it being repeated, unfortunately, but a potted summary is available on the BBC website.

24th July 2006

I’m very, very immature
Posted by at 1.15pm | Fun | No responses

Many English-speaking tourists travelling in nearby Austria make a detour to Wank.

I bet they do.

25th July 2006

To the company I work for
Posted by at 12.26pm | Work | No responses

And again.

26th July 2006

Sore pussy
Posted by at 1.15pm | Cats | No responses

Poor little Max has been suffering, bless him. Everything was fine until Monday night, but he was limping quite badly when I got home from work and couldn’t put any weight on one of his paws at all.

His leg was obviously painful, but he seemed otherwise fine, and I wasn’t too worried until I phoned up the vet first thing yesterday morning, where the receptionist, upon hearing my description of the problem, said, “you should bring him in as soon as possible — he might have been hit by a car.”

She then berated me for not coming in with him straight away and generally made me feel like the worst cat owner in the world.

Anyway, it turned out that he had an abscess in his leg. He’s now had it removed, or lanced, or whatever you do to abscesses, and the vet has prescribed tablets to prevent against infection. “It’s easy to give tablets to a cat,” he assured us, “you just open the mouth and put the pill in.”

He doesn’t know Max like I do. But I’m happy to do it, because I love that cat. After all, abscess makes the heart grow fonder. (Ho ho!)

27th July 2006

Go East, Young Man
Posted by at 11.43am | Work | No responses

Our office in Liverpool City Centre backs on to a Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant. About half an hour ago they started cooking for the lunchtime rush and the delicious smells of various Oriental delicacies are wafting up through the open window.

In addition to being miserable, I now feel absolutely starving. 🙁

Posted by at 6.27pm | In the News | No responses

Can you guess icLiverpool’s new nickname for Dreamspace, the public artwork which came to a disastrous end at Chester-le-Street last week?

The inflatable death tent.

28th July 2006

Store Trek: The Next Generation
Posted by at 7.03pm | It's My Life | No responses

This always happens. I go out shopping during my lunch hour and people assume, just because I’m wearing a shirt and tie, that I must work in the shop. Within 5 minutes of entering Next, I had fended off three separate inquiries of, “do you work here?”

It occurred to me later that I could have taken advantage of this to amuse myself. I could easily have replied in terms such as, “yes I do work here, and could you kindly leave as we don’t want your sort in here,” or, “You want those in a 32 inch waist? We’re being a bit optimistic there aren’t we? Ask at the counter for our out-size ordering service,” or a simple, “SECURITY! WE HAVE A SUSPECTED SHOPLIFTER HERE!”

I’m too nice to do anything like the above, but it’s an interesting idea for someone with anti-social tendencies to try out.

31st July 2006

Creamy muck muck
Posted by at 7.32pm | In the News | 2 responses

Sez the Beeb:-

Fertility clinics are facing a “national crisis” because of a shortage of sperm donors, say experts.

Maybe I should donate my sperm. I’m not going to impregnate a woman any other way, after all. And if enough ladies pick up my magic seed, I could sire a small army of little Roberts across the country. That would be excellent.

It would be the best thing ever if there was an American radio station called WANK.